I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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