I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
