dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
