I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize