Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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