My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize