I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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