Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
