PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
