Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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