...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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