Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
honey bunches of taint.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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