i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
