Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
thus making me awesome and them whores
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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