I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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