Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize