I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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