dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
