dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
