i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
