It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
