Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
