What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
