just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
