So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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