im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize