I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
