How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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