I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
