that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm at about main and main street
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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