I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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