Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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