why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
