matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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