Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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