My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
