i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
