ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
