I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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