They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
