is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
