i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
