Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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