i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
