she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I look better un-naked...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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