Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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