drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
