first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My vagina just recognized that song.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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