How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize