My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
