I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
