yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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