So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
