Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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