Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
