i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
