What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
dude i'm inner monologue high
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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