oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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