Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
