I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
