We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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