I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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