why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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