it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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