Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
