and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
